Saturday, 20 October 2012
The Second Time (A Summary of The Present Adoption Thus Far)
Now I won't claim to have always been a shining beacon of graceful waiting for others to marvel over. No, no, really, I haven't. I have, however, come quite a long way from going to pieces at nothing and kicking cement walls and shouting at God in the hallway. That is, I was in the hallway. Well no wait, I suppose God actually was there as well. Anyway, my point is that I have certainly spent time waiting before but much of that time has been sadly lacking in maturity and anything even resembling grace. I provide the link for evidence as I know you don't believe me. http://thecolorspectrum.blogspot.no/2010/03/straw-that-broke-camels-back-really.html
There now. Objections overruled.
So, the second time. In the case of our first adoption from Sri Lanka, all things considered, we were blessed beyond belief at how quickly it transpired. 22 months in total. Which quite honestly, is nothing in adoption time. I have known people whose adoptions took five or six years to complete. The only thing is that I pray fervently that this present adoption doesn't take that long. Consider again, the first adoption in its entirety took 22 months. This adoption process has already taken 21 months and unfortunately our papers are not even in Sri Lanka yet due to the country being closed to foreign adoptions at present. Now I am not complaining, I am simply stating a fact when I say that nothing has gone smoothly so far in this process. If a delay has been possible, you can bet it's happened. If this had been our first adoption experience, I may have given up hope by now. But we're seasoned veterans now. And ages older than I was all those many long years ago when I kicked walls and shrieked in frustration because I couldn't tie my shoelace. Three whole years older.
Certainly we are at a far different place in our lives now than we were the first time we waited and this time waiting is not the agony it was then but it still is difficult in its own way. They predict that it will still take three or so years when our papers reach Sri Lanka so as you can imagine we are very very hopeful that things straighten themselves out soon. So the time we wait may be five or six pregnancies long to put it in perspective. Though it is not a physical weight, you'd be quite mistaken in thinking that waiting adoptive parents don't also carry a very heavy burden of weight around with them as well.
However, I believe I have learned something since the last time and if I haven't learned it perfectly yet, that is because I am a work in progress. I am learning grace in uncontrollable circumstances. I am learning contentment in my daily life. I am learning to simply cherish the child I have at present and to pray for the one we will adopt in the future. Put very simply, I hope. I just hope.
I can't predict when Sri Lanka will open its doors again so what can I do but accept the waiting? I can predict nothing.
Once again, it comes down to releasing control. Even as we adopted the first time, we had "plans". Plans to adopt many children. Plans about how quickly we could follow one adoption with another. Etc, etc., etc. For now, we simply wait and the only thing we can control is the grace with which we do so. And well, even that, I admit to needing quite a lot of help from God with. When I pray for the strength to be patient, I find He is quite willing to oblige me. ;)
So cheers. Hope with me that I have some news to impart soon.