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Wednesday, 24 August 2011

"They Call Us Sick As Though They're All So Sane"

Couldn't speak. Couldn't ask.
And so came silence.
Stealthily.
Stretching...eternal...ice-tinged cold...
It's death. It's death.
I swear it's death. This thing you hold.

Fighting. Screaming. Let me go.

Silence smiles:
I am precise and patient.
Deadly. Cruel.
I'll shred your peace.
Take away your gentle days.
I'll rip the words
Right from your mouth
Make you beg
If I have to.

Silence nods with grim determination.
All power, abuse and deadly control.
Silence smiles and whispers deathly cold:
I'm going to break you.
In the end.

And then
Where
Will you go?
Where
Will you be able to show your face?
Where
Will you know me again?

I swear after this
You'll never know me again.

You'll never find me.
Among shadows and lost souls.
All white fog laying low over ice covered fields.
Trees stretching out their bare
Skeleton
Arms.

Among pain.
Dull faces marked with empty life and empty gain.
This is the result
Of my destructive reign.

The mystery of it is this:
After I am through with you;
Have ripped and forced and torn your words from your soul
You will never know me again.

It's pain.
A sort of death, a sort of life...
Silence shrugs, apathetic, continues blandly:
...this thing that you now know.




14 comments:

Brian Miller said...

oy, silence can certainly kill...and the longer it lasts the harder it is to break...haunting write

Serene said...

The Bible says that even a fool is counted wise when he holds his tongue. I know this to be true. But it also says that a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. Sometimes, we MUST speak AND allow others to be heard. what a powerful poem. ~Serene

Colleen said...

Thank you Brian, coming from you that is a compliment indeed!

Serene, I love the proverb "It is better to be silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."! That always makes me laugh!:) But yes, there is a good silence...and a destructive, terrible, deadly silence. One silence heals and the other can destroy relationships and people and life more quickly than almost anything else. Wisdom is in knowing the difference I suppose. Far too often I have seen the sort of silence that causes love and life to die; the sort of silence that rather than support another person and care for them shows only apathy and indifference. Maybe I am not explaining myself very well but I trust you know what I mean soul-sister!:) Thanks for the comment and sharing your insight!

Dangerous Linda said...

i think the word brian used, "haunting", is very fitting.

i don't really know what this poem is about, but it reminds me of the way i felt when i was a teen-ager living in a cruel and abusive environment.

my father always said i was "crazy" so your title grabbed me right away. and then, of course, were all the family secrets ... silence amidst screaming & yelling ...

Felisol said...

I know one thing; if I am in a conflict, or feel that I am the victim of injustice, I'd better scream my heart out, or at least talk back.
(Babies scream all the time. Why is it considered a sign of insanity when adults scream?)

If I do keep my silence, the alleged wrongdoing grows into a thorn hedge which separate me and the person in question forever.

Freud, the mad scientist, talks about fundamental feelings.
Fear when the surface suddenly disappears. (He would hold a baby and then let it fall.)
Anger, when a baby is hold so tightly it cannot move.

If I am restrained from talking back; an anger grows inside of me, like a cancer tumour.

A year ago I stopped myself from defending me against an injustice. Today I know that very person and I can never become friends again. The end of a thirty year long friendship.

So, my conclusion is; talk back, but pray God help you keep control.

Karen Kyle Ericson said...

I could definitely relate to this. Very powerful! Shew! There are such dark places in the world, in our memories. So glad God can change our hearts. Great writing my friend : )

mary333 said...

Yes, there are silences so ugly that they echo straight into eternity. The quote that came to my mind after reading your poem is "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Think of the Holocaust.

It seems to me that there is far too much of the ugly silence resulting from fear or apathy and not enough of the good silence, the peaceful silence that promotes healing and has love as its source.

This is a powerful poem.

Kim said...

This is a great poem. Silence is a double edged sword. When used properly it is an effective tool, but when abused it can be even more powerful.

Peggy said...

I like all the emotions you portrayed in your poem. I hope someone hasn't hurt you with their silence. People can do that either consciously or unconsciously to us.

Colleen said...

Linda, thank you for sharing that. I am sorry that you experienced that growing up and can only marvel at your strength at overcoming it. You are such a force for the good and positive! The title itself is a line from a song by Two Gallants called Fly Low Carrion Crow...perhaps that's cheating but I like the line.:)

Felisol, I know just what you are saying! And as bizarre as Sigmund Freud was, I have a strange fascination with the man.:) Your last sentence is the very key to living. I am so sorry your friendship was destroyed by silence, how sad that must be for you. I am working on talking back, but not in anger and mostly as you say so wisely, taking my feelings of hurt or injustice to God. Thinking of you these days my friend.

Karen, thank you very much! I'm glad you can relate!

Mary, thank you. I think you have beautifully and exactly what I hoped to express myself...I really appreciate your input!

Kim, thank you! Yes, so true. There are times it is so healing and that silence is a joy to the soul and other times that the hurt that is born of someone remaining silent can last a lifetime.

Peggy, thank you. I know I am guilty of this too at times...times I've excused myself because "I just don't know what to say" when really, any expression of concern is better than none! Thank you for your kind words and your concern.

Rachna said...

Silence can be a wonderful thing is used constructively. Silence also gives us time to mull and calm down in explosive situations. Sometimes, holding someone's hand in silence through grief can say many things and can be so comforting. And there is the other side of silence that you pointed out that can injure, hurt and cause immense damage. I have experienced both at different points in time. Really lovely post!

Susan Deborah said...

Silence is golden, but not always. Though I appreciate silence, sometimes it can cause severe wounds, like the one you have written about. Lovely one, Colleen. Liking this write of yours.

Joy always,
Susan

Zuzana said...

So much power in those words, I wonder where did the inspiration arise from dear Colleen:;)
Silence is such a contradictory term. If people bestow silence upon us, it can be perceived as rude and threatening. Yet it can also mean insecurity and ignorance. Not to speak up about anything can lead to demises, yet too much noise is a cause for irritation. I do not think I could live in total silence for ever, yet at times it is all that I crave.
"Silence is golden" used to be my favorite term when I was young, as I was too insecure to speak up.;)
So silence is a two edged sword I believe.;)
xoxo

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