"...I am fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:12
No one fully knows another person. No one ever fully knows themselves.
Yet we are fully known. I am fully known by the One who created me.
I have never had a private moment. I have never had a secret. I have never been able to nurse my brokenness, my pain, the hurt that is always there at the very core of all of us, alone. I've never sat up at night, cold and quiet, arms around my knees, locked in a lonely world of self by myself. Never cried a tear or smiled a smile that wasn't noticed.
I am fully known.
Every: flaw, failing, desire, dream, prayer, hurt, joy, pleasure, thought, ambition, frustration, humiliation, fear, memory, word, secret.
Everything that has ever been done or said to me is known. Everything I have ever done or said or thought is known.
Rather than find this invasive and alarming, I find this profoundly beautiful and comforting. Not because I have nothing I wouldn't wish to be known but because all the many many things I don't understand about myself, the mystery of my own thoughts and actions and fears, the things I don't know...can't remember...even the me I can't remember due to the clutter and chaos of the world pushing it's way into my mind, is fully known.
And despite every imperfection, unkindness, judgmental thought and hurtful word, lack of courage, faith, trust, and even character at times, I am fully known and fully loved.
There is a core me. A perfect me. Underneath the dirt of just living, underneath the lack of innocence, the daily failings, there is a perfect woman. A woman who someday will reach her full potential.
So this is the knowledge that I will carry with me when I feel alone, uncertain, like a stranger in a strange land. When I wake up at night and miss it all; the all enveloping warmth and love of family and friends, a community . When I sit up in the evening and feel unknown, unseen and as though I am not understood and also as though I don't understand this place and tightly controlled culture that I exist in while trying not to conform to it. When I feel alone in my struggles, alone with the worst of myself...I choose to remember I am not unknown or unseen. I am fully known by the One who matters. Fully known.
What a relief.
23 comments:
amen. to know and be known is ingrained to us by the creator...to have such intimacy...i am glad i have it in the One as well...
Very well said...gives one something to think about, mainly because I don't believe we realize this or are aware of it on a daily basis...thanks Miss Colleen...
WOW Colleen. This is indeed true. I feel better now.
I need that reminder on a constant basis. It is easy to get 'lost' in my own mind.
Thank you.
That is so deeply beautiful.
Never alone.
A true reminder, that I cherish deep within my thoughts today. Thank you.
I just wrote about Psalm 139 which describes exactly what you wrote! I am so glad to see you back. I love the way you put it and how we are both on the same track today : )
It is good to remember. My mind would like to block the love of God out when despair sets in. Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you for your lovely comments! I have missed you all.:)
Brian, you are so right, we all have this desire to be known in us...we want it desperately and try to seek it with other people and inevitably fail because it's a longing only God can truly fill.
Judi, thank you! And it certainly isn't something I think about on a daily basis either, although I should.:)
Ratz, thanks love, glad you feel better...hope you are having good days.
Grandma K, me too, me too. It's confusing in there.:) Thank you for your comment.
Becky, what a wonderful comfort.
Alicia, I cherish it too. I felt like those words were a gift this morning. We are blessed.
Karen, so funny that we are on the same track!:) I will head over to read your own thoughts on the matter as soon as I get a chance. I always love what you have to say and have missed your insight while I've been away.:)
Grace, I'm so glad if this reminds you of how loved and cherished you are. I also fight grace when I am depressed or upset, in my way I do understand although I know our situations are different.
I'm looking forward to catching up with you all soon! I didn't even plan to stay away so very long, but warm weather, you know?:) Hoping you are all having a beautiful summer.
Colleen, that is beautiful. Sometimes I feel like you and I are twin souls. There was so much comfort in this post and I'm mentally rewinding quickly through past hurts where I felt like no one on the planet was wondering how Serene was doing.....I was not and am not alone. LOVE this! ~Serene
Dear Colleen:
Good to have you back. It is for the reasons given above by you, that I can sustain the faith and walk along life's path. I can never be an atheist, for the same reasons.
Joy always,
Susan
Incredible!
♥ Leia
Hi Colleen,
It's been a while since I last read a new post from you, so coming over here is a delight.
Glad to be in touch with you again.
I know what you mean by what you wrote. Rather than be threatened by the fact that nothing is hidden from the One who made us, it also gives me a sense of comfort. I don't need to explain anything to Him. He already knows... and understands... and cares!
Thanks for visiting my blog. I have missed your visits.
Trusting all is well with you!
Love
Lidj
Thank you Coleen for sharing.
Serene, thank you so much for your understanding! I know exactly what you mean about rewinding through past experiences when we have thought no one cared at all how we were (Love the way you put it in the comment:) and knowing it wasn't true. I think we are twin souls too...there have been so many times we have been right there on the exact same level of thought. I am so glad for that my friend.
Susan Deborah, thank you. I am happy to be back writing again. I feel the same. To me, this knowledge is so intrinsic in me, I couldn't deny it if I wanted too. We must remain honest with ourselves after all. Joy to you too.
Leia, thank you!
Hi Lidj, yes, it has certainly been awhile.:) It is a wonderful thing to have that comfort in our lives. I have missed you as well and always feel blessed by having visited your blog and learned from your wise words.
great read for a woman with insomnia. thank you for sharing yourself so authentically and powerfully. i'm happy to begin to know you, colleen.
Dear JBR. Thank you. I hope you are alright today. Hugs sweetheart.
Dangerous Linda...I love your name.:) I wish mine was Dangerous Colleen but it would be stretching the truth a bit. ;) Welcome here, I am so happy you've stopped by! And if you are suffering from insomnia (which I am sorry to hear) then please, feel free to read a few more posts...they'll put you right to sleep.:) Happy to meet you too!
Hi, Colleen,
What a comfort it is to be fully known.
I guess I also need to rest in that, and this is why Psalm 139 has become my favourite and signature psalm.
139:9 "If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10 Even there would Thy hand lead me, and Thy right hand would hold me."
I guess this is where we are the two of us. In the uttermost parts of the sea.
I'll be the first to admit that small countryside villages in Norway remain a closed chapter to many.
The Jante law is dominating, and who is know manage to live by it's rules.
I think Kristiansand may be easer to relate to. They have at least a Catholic church and hopefully an embracing congregation.
Oh, girl, you've got a job before you. Talk as much Norwegian as you can. People like that. Ask around for local recipes and the likes. Read if you can Gabriel Scott's "Kilden" about Fiskeren Markus and "Det gylne evangelium".
Wisdom for life and a good description of Sørlandet and it's people.
Scott was born in Scotland, but became the author and voice of Sørlandet.
My best wishes for you and your very much seen family
from felisol
O Colleen what a truly wonderfully comforting thought...
Thank you for this, this morning!!
Soo happy to have you back! I missed reading... Hope the time with your family was wonderful:)
Thank Colleen. I needed to read this today.
Dear Felisol, thank you for your insightful and helpful comment. I appreciate your advice and will certainly take it to heart! I also think that psalm is beautiful and comforting.
I am lucky to know many warm and good people here so that is indeed a blessing but I think that despite that, there is of course a part of me that deep down wishes for the ease of home. :) I appreciate the book recommendations. Takk Elise! (Og jeg snakker så mye norsk som muglig men finne det veldig vanskelig å skrive på norsk så vanligvis bare gjør det på engelsk. ;)
Jenn, it was a wonderful visit thank you for asking! Of course, their going made me think of home even more than usual as I'm sue you understand. Thinking of you today and wishing you happiness.
Grumpy Grateful Mom, it's my pleasure. Nice to meet you.:)
Oh yes...it brings to mind that hymn - just as I am I come to thee. Are we blessed to know a love such as this, Colleen. I think of you and pray for you often. Mailed you a while back too, but I'm not sure you got it.
Take care..
It is something I think about often, and something I have difficulty comprehending. There is comfort in the thought as you say. Nice to see you post again ;-)
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