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Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Stumbling Over Lost Children

I see myself walking in a hot and dusty place. It's almost dark, I stumble over something and fall hard on my knees. My hands hit earth. Dry dust flies and dances in the air around my face. I choke and shake the hair out of my eyes. Look down to see what it was I stumbled over. Gently move the earth away. Something bright and beautiful lying unnoticed in the dirt.

You! I laugh in delighted dismay. What are you doing there?! I've been looking for you everywhere but never thought I'd find you here! Still laughing at my good fortune, I reach a hand down to pull you up, wipe my fingers across your dirt-streaked face...oh! But you're so beautiful! I shake my head in wonder. Sink down again until I reach your level. Gaze with a smile into your eyes. I couldn't find you, you know. At first, I cried and called and called. But you were gone! Just disappeared from me...my life... I shrug my shoulders and trail off helplessly. ...I gave up, it looked so bleak...they said I'd never find you... I lift my head to your small face, will you to understand what even I do not about loss and living without and choices made and mourned.

You pull your small, thin hand from mine. Look at me so scornfully. Say:

You're far too late and now you have no claim on me. I'm not your child. Not yours to keep. I'm a dream. I am a ghost.

18 comments:

Life with Kaishon said...

Wow. That is so good! I love it!

Corinne Rodrigues said...

I love the way you've written this...but I'd be less than honest if I said I fully comprehended what you meant :)

Lori said...

Oh Colleen this is so good! It could take on the meaning of so many different things. Hope your having a good day. XX

Robin said...

I hope you keep that and store it away. You never know, it might fit into a novel at some point in the future. I remember reading an author's site on "How I Write" and she said that the novel didn't come chronologically. I thought to myself, "That's crazy." Well, I started writing mine and it didn't come chronologically either. Some scenes just came to me really vividly and I wrote that scene and called it that. Wasn't sure where it fit into the whole picture until later. So, call it what it is and you never know...

Alicia said...

Colleen your word art is lovely! The rawness spoke to my heart. I can really relate to this beautiful fiction.
http://barefooties.blogspot.com/2010/10/this-week.html

wafaa said...

Beautiful!!!

Grandma K said...

I am with Kaishon. Wow!

Please keep writing.

a prairie girl in california said...

yes!! with Alicia. that spoke to my heart!!!

Mary-Anne said...

your words make me shiver! ♥

Debbie said...

So beautiful and also sad to me.

Just Be Real said...

Beautifully written. Well done. Thank you for sharing Colleen. Blessings to you dear.

Ashlee said...

Beautifully written. I was so into the story and sad it ended so quickly. very sad, but the kind of sad you want to feel to know you still have feelings..if that makes any sense.

Bravo Darling!

Janet said...

Beautiful! Colleen, I truly love it! Resonates so perfectly with what I'm feeling these days

Michael Khatcherian said...

Colleen, again is painting "Gibranic" (as in Khalil Gibran) portrait in my my mind. I admire what I read.

Purple Cow said...

Very beautifully expressed. For me it reminds me of an abortion. Children that are never born and yet somehow exist in a spiritual way. Aborted foetuses that we later regret having got rid off having missed out on a brilliant opportunity to hold that little hand in more than a metaphysical way. Those kids are ours as well, but not ours. They are perhaps somewhere in a land where they exist in limbo, a land from which they scorn at us.

Anyway, that is what I thought off when I read this. I'm sure you meant it in a totally different way.

Kisses to you.

Judie said...

Colleen, this is an achingly beautiful post. It made me cry. You are a gifted writer.

Becca said...

You are an amazing writer! :-) this is great!

Crown of Beauty said...

Oh Colleen, I could interpret it many ways...but I won't . Just take it at face value and leave it there - just a story, not connected to any deep pain or inner emotional wound.

I thought of you when I came across this new blog, it about a couple who adopted a boy from china...

Maybe you would like to read, and connect with them. Jolene was so honest with what she was going through...the good times and the bad times.

Here's the link:

http://powellfamilyadoption.blogspot.com/

Love
Lidj