When we were in high-school, we believed we were pretty original thinkers...you know...poets, philosophers, and artists. (Alright, maybe not everyone's high-school years were spent like this but I was kind of an idealist, what can I say? I still am in some ways and that's probably why I get scammed so much when I travel but whatever. That one there? Easy target.:) I loved history, religion, art, drama, and literature and hated math and physical education. I used to skip my math classes and spend them lying sprawled in the sunshine instead. I liked it better and it felt like a better use of time to me.
Two of my three high-school years were spent at an Ursuline convent school in a tiny, tiny town in Saskatchewan approximately a ten hour drive from my hometown. It was an exciting, challenging experience. To be 14 and away from home.
After two years I returned to Manitoba and kept up with my friends far away with a lot of long, fat letters and bizarre packages in the mail. One of my more artistic friends sent me a clay ear in honor of Vincent Van Gogh and in this puzzling package was a bunch of words and sayings hastily cut out of magazines. I pulled each one out of the envelope and read them. One appealed to me then at 17 years old: "You can't edit yourself for fear of others reactions." It isn't very poetic. It isn't really that original. But at 29 years old, it still appeals to me.
It appeals to me because I have never been overly interested in catering to the masses. Although it is certainly much nicer to stand with the support of others encouraging and reinforcing your ideas and beliefs, there are times when you must have the strength to stand alone. It also appeals to me because I believe in honesty and being true to one's convictions. This can cost us though. Friends, family members, jobs and in the worst and most frightening circumstances, it can cost your life.
We all begin our lives with tiny sparks of truth in us that are just waiting for us to acknowledge them and delight in them and fan them into flames but these can be so easily quenched; every time that we edit ourselves for the sake of what others might say or think we are damaging something true within ourselves.
It is possible to be a quiet rebel. Leaders come in all personality types. Some are loud, charismatic, persuasive, and brilliant. Others are quiet and humble, leading in their example and steady belief in themselves and their convictions. A leader can be afraid to speak up sometimes, afraid to attract attention, shy, aggressive, peaceful, or bold. A leader is simply a person who doesn't follow.
We need to know what we believe and live our lives in such a way that those beliefs are apparent. We need to be honest people.
We never know who is watching and who might be following our example.
5 comments:
Once again you have written beautiful words to make us think. One of the hardest things as a parent was trying to make sure my kids did not become "followers". Thanks again Colleen, you always make my day. Judi Dudek, Gimli MB
Girl I love your writing! :o)
I believe that a lot of people have the fear of editing themselves for fear of what others might think. Like, for example, in my case when I travel I love reinventing myself in a small way to see if it works. Trying something new when the people around you don't know you is easier because you wont get as many comments... only to realize that you fall back into the old patterns anyway LOL! ;op
In terms of being a leader... you can never be a good leader if you don't know how to be a good follower first. A leader is not necessarily a person who doesn't follow, a leader is a person who influences those around him/her. For example most people around me are natural born leaders (they're
all firstborns or have firstborn traits) yet we all follow one leader - Johnathan Macris. We all influence each other, we all influence our surroundings in small or large ways and because there are people out there that want to hear what we have to say we are leading them. BUT we are all still followers. Even Johnathan, our president, is a follower. He follows what the board tells him is his boundaries. If not everybody is in total agreement with something he wont implement it, hence he is also a follower. I believe that a leader who doesn't follow is a bad thing and will ultimately become a totalitarian leader. Just know that teaching your children to follow is not a bad thing, you just need to teach and show them what is a good thing and what is a bad thing to follow :o)
Ultimately we are all followers of Christ and He should be our one and only concern. If everybody would follow Him wholeheartedly the world would be a better place because His heart if for the world! :o)
Love you! :o)
Thank you Judi! You leave the loveliest comments and I always appreciate that!
Hi Janet...it's been too long my friend! I completely know what you're saying about reinventing yourself in small ways and how it's easier when you travel and people have no preconceived ideas about you! I definitely do that occasionally myself but I always think I am still being myself, I'm not doing anything wildly out of character...even with small reinventions, it is still me, just perhaps another side of who I am.:)
Good, good, good points about leaders! I didn't ever think of it like that before, that one must be a follower sometimes and I certainly see and understand your point. You genius. You put me to shame.:) Still though I think that all of those natural leaders around you who also follow at times are probably independent thinkers as well and their reasons for following are because they have thought whatever it is through and decided it was right to do so...and I was meaning more the people who follow because they want not to have to think for themselves and because it's easier. I see a huge difference between the two.
In a healthy situation people do influence each other and learn from one another and that is exactly as it should be. We would get exactly nowhere if we couldn't do this.:)
You raise such an excellent point though in that at times we do have to follow and perhaps that is they key as you said, to know when. Even in following though, we must feel in our hearts that what we are following is right and that it upholds our beliefs and convictions and not just do it blindly because someone says we should or because it's easy or popular.
Thank you for your comment!! Miss you!
My mother said something to my sister and I that she denies ever saying but will stick with me to my grave: "Somebody is always watching you." Did that send shivers down your spine? It did me, and I'm "alone" in my flat!
You have always been something of a dreamer, but you clearly have hard and fast convictions about what you think is right, and I've always admired you for that. You came across as an individual from day one.
Thank you very much mysterious Haircutgirl.:) I appreciate hearing that and am so glad you stopped by!
As for what your mother told you, yes, it is rather spooky.:)
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