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Monday, 1 March 2010

Be Careful What You Pray For...

This is lent, a traditional period of fasting, restraint, contemplation, prayer, and charity.

One area that I really seem to struggle with in my daily life, in almost every situation, is pride so I have been focusing more effort and prayer on becoming more humble. But humility is so difficult because probably more than anything else, it absolutely has no place in human nature or in the world we live in for that matter. Humility isn't respected, sought after, encouraged or desired. Self promotion is.

So I have been praying for help in this area. Even in church yesterday, before communion, I again asked for help in being more humble. I was the last one in the line walking up to receive communion and my thoughts which had been so noble and earnest only moments before began to wander...I wonder if these boots go with this skirt...yeah I think they do...they're black after all and black goes with most things...they're kind of nice boots actually...come to think of it, everything about me is kind of fact you know, I think I probably look pretty good today...yeah...

Then it was my turn to receive communion and as I was walking back to my seat my thoughts wandered yet, let's see if I can walk like I'm on a runway...that's a good idea! foot in front of the other...oh yeah I have definitely missed my true calling...what am I doing working in a kindergarten when I could be "Colleen, Supermodel Extraordinaire"?... (Ok, perhaps this isn't exactly what my thoughts were but you get the general idea.:)

Ok, what is wrong with me?! Honestly! Why can't I focus?! And no, this isn't humble-talk now, this is sheer exasperation at the idiotic musings of my mind!:)

So on the way home I remembered I needed milk so I asked Per to stop and I ran in to the little grocery shop to grab some. When I came back to the car, Per was smiling and he said "You have a big hole right in the back of your skirt you know." I was mortified! Simply mortified. "What?! I do?! How long has it been there? Was it there in church too? Oh my goodness!! Noooo!"

And there went my daydreams of looking like some suave, graceful supermodel extraordinaire. Really, they were gone just that quickly.

Maybe this is an example of God's sense of humor. Or of Him not answering a prayer exactly the way we envision. (I had kind of envisioned that I would become more humble and everyone would notice and remark upon my saintly manner quietly among themselves with a sort of reverent awe.;)

Whatever the case, for at least the remainder of yesterday, my embarrassment certainly assured that I was more humble.:)

Ahhh, the spirit is so willing but the flesh is so weak...


Janet said...

LOL!!!! Oh humility... it's like praying for patience... that is one prayer you never ever pray! LOL The Lord definitely answered your prayer girl! He gave you a huge hole in the back of your skirt! :o) That is definitely His sense of humor!

Humility is a tricky one, isn't it? What does true humility look like? I believe that a person who is truly humble is a person who gives of themselves, even sacrifices themselves for the good of others.

Also this lack of concentration that you mentioned I believe is spiritual warfare... Satan doesn't want you to think good thoughts as you're on your way to communion... or reading your Bible... or listening to a sermon... he doesn't want you to learn and give yourself fully to the Lord! So what does he attack... the thoughts!

Katie said...

Oh, but my dear, you ARE and have always been, a super model and a beauty queen!
On the serious side, I came home one day from visiting someone in the hospital and only noticed when I changed, that I had a rip in my skirt, and quite a large one! Soo embarassing. You wonder how many people saw and didn't say anything! Oh well! A little more humility would serve us all better!

Colleen said...

That is SO funny, I know, I don't get why no one says anything!! I mean, I'd rather feel momentarily embarrassed like "Oh man, a huge piece of lettuce in my teeth? Thanks for telling me..." than get home later and wonder, like you, how many people noticed.:)
Once I was getting on the bus and before I could sit down, it juts sped away and I flew backward and somehow the seat rest caught on the pocket of my jeans and there was a huge ripping sound and what's worse that day I was wearing bright pink underwear...try getting off the bus with your dignity intact after that.:)
Janet, I know, I'll think twice about praying for humility in public again. I manage to have enough um, "moments" on my own without any help at all...:) Humility IS tricky. I think it is a person who looks for no recognition from others whatsoever, who quietly helps or does good. Who doesn't feel the need to brag or promote themselves or one-up other people. I tell you, there aren't many of these people!!!:)

Deborah said...

haha...that is a great post as well! I love your humor!