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Sunday, 1 November 2009

The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows

Can you imagine me in court?!

For example, once while driving on country lanes at night with a friend back home, not wearing my seatbelt, I noticed with alarm the flashing lights of a cop car coming up behind us signaling that we pull over. Assuming incorrectly that everything in the world is about me I began to frantically fumble with my belt, unable in my agitation to do it up in the few seconds it took the officer to stride over to our car. In those seconds my life pretty much passed before my eyes, I began to envision all sorts of scenarios, a night in jail...well actually, why stop there...even a life in jail! I started to mumble incoherently to my friend that I would just tell the officer everything, admit to not wearing a seatbelt and take the punishment (which in Canada would amount to a fine, if even that, not jail time just so we’re clear.;). Luckily my friend being more clear headed than I, advised me to shut up and not say a word about the seatbelt which the officer wouldn’t have been able to see on a dark road anyway. I took her advice, beamed charmingly up at the officer and was very much relieved to hear that it wasn’t about my seatbelt at all! In fact, he just wanted to warn us that some criminal had just escaped custody and so to be careful while driving in this area in the dark. *Shakes head* And to think I was worried! ;)

Anyway, yes, me in court. With my quick thinking and collected nature, it’s what I was born to do. We have our court date on Thursday November 5th and though it may not exactly be what I was born to do, I actually do believe it will go smoothly and well. So long as I can remember that we are not actually being accused of anything and thus to try not to break down and confess to any transgressions or crimes. We just have to answer a question or two and hold out our arms and accept the gift of a small boy being given into our care by his mother.

In that moment we become parents. It’s a triumphant day for us. We don’t have to witness the tearing grief of a mother who has just given up her baby, who may, as the nuns told us, many of these brave women do, go back to the convent and weep until they are sick with the sorrow of it all.

November 5th 2009.

Try to imagine us all in court.


Anonymous said...

I do imagine you in court and know that it will be well. Our prayers go to that beautiful young mother, who loves her son enough to see him go far, far away. That is love. I will pray for you and for her as that day approaches. Kate

Olga Marie og Jan Henrik said...

U are already parents my dear <3 By heart, that`s the most important =)
Good luck, please write about how perfect your little boy is, even though we already know it, hihi! =D

I`m so looking forward to hear all about these weeks!!!

Colleen said...

Mom, you're exactly right, what she is doing is the ultimate act of unselfish love. Thank you for praying for us and for her!

Thanks for your thoughts Olga Marie...we look forward to sharing how these weeks have gone too!:) I see our situation a bit differently though, I do see it as becoming parents that day. Right now, William is with his own mother and being cared for by her every day. I do feel that the day that she hands him over to us and he becomes our responsibility (and joy of course) to care for is the day that we can say we are parents. Right now we are not...we are hoping to be and we will be though very soon!:) Hope you are all well!

Ine said...

I will most definitely be imagining all of you in court, and I will be thinking of you that day, which must be a day of contrasts. I hope it all goes as well as can be expected!

Mats said...

I'm sure it'll go very well for you and yours.. :D ..who can be harsh towards a honest soul like you?

I felt a twitch in my heart when i read your description of the mothers of these children. The norwegian TV series hosted by Tore Strømøy has just aired an episode about a korean woman's search for her son who had been adopted to a norwegian couple 22 years earlier.

It spawned quite a few reactions from both Ane Ramm, Adopsjonsforum and the government. It's been an interesting public debate with all the good arguments on our side..

Anyhoo - that's only a digression on my part. I know everything will work out for ou and think of you often! :)

jjdelta said...

My heart goes out to these poor women that have no other choice but to give up their children. Which mother, in her right mind, would ever give up a her child? It must be the most excruciating thing. I know that William is the blessing of your life but he probably is the blessing of his mom's life too. A blessing she is forced to give up due to circumstances.

Oh God, please be with this woman. Hold her tight in your embrace and comfort her as she morns the loss of her child. This has been a crossroad in her life, and I pray that this new path will lead her to You. I thank you Lord that the loss of one is the gain of another; Colleen and Per. I pray that you might give them the wisdom to raise this little boy Your way. I pray that he will be a mighty man in Your Kingdom; a man after Your own heart. Amongst the pain and the joy we praise Your Holy Name and thank You for Your divine plan, You are Sovereign and we put our entire trust in You. Thank You Lord Jesus for everything. It is in Your name we pray, amen.

I love you girl and I am so happy for you and Per!

lorauk said...

Dear Colleen and Per,
It will be a difficult day for all those involved. God bless those that have aided this adoption. Have you ever looked at the word adoption, ad option, this is so true it is an additional option for the birth mother, for you guys and for the baby! William is blessed in many ways his birth mother and you guys both love him and are interested in his welfare and giving him the best opportunities in life. I'm glad that the mother knows you and trusts you to take care of little William and that you have shared this time together, she will have those memories and she will have the knowledge that he is being taken care of by such kind good people. God bless you all and I will keep you all in my prayers.

Colleen said...

Ine and Mats, thanks for thinking of us! I do think it will go's just a strange thing to think about it, as I'm sure you understand very well.

Mats, that TV series sounds pretty controversial. I can easily see how people who haven't given it much thought might not understand the full picture and therefore have A LOT of differing opinions:) Did you guys watch it? What did you both think?

Janet, thank you for that beautiful, beautiful prayer! What a lovely thing to write...I appreciate your support and know you are praying for us and thinking of us and that, my dear friend, is so appreciated. Miss you tons!! By the way, Mary tried to call you but no big deal...maybe you can meet another time!:)

Lorraine that's a really interesting way of looking at the word "adoption". It's creates new options for all involved and I have never quite considered it like that before. Thank you for your's so good to know how many people are really behind us in this! Thank you so much for stopping by and thank you for commenting! See you soon!

Mats said...

Colleen: Tore Strømøys TV series, "Tore på sporet", is usually a "koselig" series which reunites long lost family members.

He's helped adopted kids to find their biological parents, but twice he's helped the biological parents to find their children. That causes a different approach which can put the child in a awkward position.

Strømøys supporters are looking to change the politics in such a way that a childs biological family can get in touch much more easily than today - they used Facebook and other social societies for descibing as the world gets smaller.

In the debate we saw on NRK, Strømøys critics, Ane Ramm and representatives from Adopsjonsforum and the government, were quick to point out that a child must be protected at all costs - even if this hurt the child's mother/father. One can't be sure that even a adopted child who's a teen is ready to get in touch with their biological parents.

Well, that's a few thoughts.. :) ..i'm sure that's not the last time i think about it...

Well, take care and have a great time with jr. :D


Anonymous said...

And....I thank you. I am at the moment in Calgary visiting my 35+ years best friend who in suffering terribly with MSA - I actually picked up (at her request) her urn in the city. So forgive me if I vicariously enjoy some moments of each day thinking of you and Per starting the most wonderful of journeys...your family gives me that...I love hearing about your happy life...I am happy in mine, but...well you know...Your writing talent is truly a gift from God and I for one enjoy it tremendously! Kisses Judi - I would selfishly ask for prayer for Terri too.

Colleen said...

Not selfish at all Judi. How is Terri? How are you? I am so sorry to hear she is suffering so much. That is an awful disease. I am thinking of you both and praying for you too...I pray this visit is a good one for you and a blessing to you both. I'm so sorry Judi, I can't imagine watching a cherished friend suffer so much.:(
Big, big hugs to you Judi.

Dawn said...

there is a beautiful song about that by mark schultz (listen to "everything to me" on it is from the perspective of a man who is singing the song for his birthmother.

Colleen said...

Mats: "One can't be sure that even a adopted child who's a teen is ready to get in touch with their biological parents."

I completely agree.

Dawn that sounds like a lovely song, I'll have to check it out when I get a minute! Thanks for the tip!:)