I had a dream about you last night. In the dream you died. You weren't here anymore and it broke my heart. I would never tell you this. It was nothing to joke about. It was devastating, disconcerting, bewildering.
A world without you? Colorless. Empty. Impossible.
And it occurs to me that there are times we hurt. So much. There are time that our smiles are desperate imitations of the real thing. There are times we ache for somebody to hold out their hands to us. To look at us. Really look at us and see who we are, the life that pulses beneath our flesh. It occurs to me that we can die without this.
Small deaths. And we all bear the weight of this.
The death of truth. The death of hope. The death of communication. The death of prayer. The death of unity. The death of trust. The death of friendship and love. The death of that life and spirit that pulses beneath our flesh and makes us who we are.
I hope that you know I can see you. I hope that I can be there. These times when you're hurting. I see you. I hear you. I know who you are. I won't let you go and I won't let you fall. I won't let these small deaths be permanent.
Please be so gentle. With yourself.