Necissary Evil

Sigh.
I will openly admit that I have never been especially known for my physical bravery in certain situations, for example, anything that takes place at the doctor's office has usually sent me into a fluttering mess of wide eyed, sweaty terror. I know this. I anticipate this. How I would like to be able to claim that I left whining and jumping around the room shrieking "No, no, no! Please don't hurt me, I don't want a needle!!" while whimpering pitifully, back in the days of my childhood...but sadly, I can make no such claim honestly.
Yesterday after work, Per and I made our first actual, tangible preparation for our inevitable trip to Sri Lanka. Vaccinations. Per has traveled to Asia before so he needed only an update of his Tetnus shot and a new one for Typhoid fever. Where as I needed a Tetnus on one arm, a combination vaccine for Hepatitis A and B on the other and must go back again in a month for a booster shot of the latter and also one against Typhoid fever.
I suppose the feeling of dread that I woke up with yesterday wasn't wholly necessary. I passed the day almost numb with horror at the thought of the atrocities I would have to undergo later. I brought it up quite often in conversation at work so everyone would know and feel very sorry for me. I made it my facebook status. I hyperventilated in the car. But as it turned out, our nurse was a lovely, kind woman from Newfoundland, Canada of all places who reassured me several times that "No, I wasn't a wimp...it was completely natural to be afraid of needles. In fact, many of the grown men she gives vaccines to are quite terrified as well." So, she gave me both vaccinations and voila! They were done within seconds...it certainly didn't feel pleasant but it was quick and I smiled at her. No, beamed in fact. Feeling quite pleased with myself and relieved and began to talk about how one can't put a price on health, yes, we may dread vaccines but the alternative? Would I rather die? Certainly not! Then she began to talk and everything went blurry and I flung myself onto the floor wailing in despair "Oooooooh noooo...I know this feeling...I am a wimp after all..." and Per's voice and the nurses voice seemed to come from a very great distance and I mumbled in a rush "Just let me lie here. I'll be fine. I'm sorry. (That would be my Canadian side coming out.) I'm a wimp. I've done this before. I just need to lie down." I recovered, went back to my seat once again smiling and talkative and then, it happened again.
After the second time, the nurse seemed to be contemplating something and said "You know what? I'm just going to make a note here that next time you get your vaccinations laying down, k?"
(I would just like to point out that there has been one circumstance in my life when I have not been a wimp while at the hospital. 4 years ago I had a spinal tap and honestly, I didn't flinch, faint, sweat or tremble. I was very calm. It was momentous. Granted I have never dared to look up the actual length of that particular needle but for my own continued sanity, I mustn't. I just know it was very, very, very bloody long.)