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Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Certainly Not Blessed With "The Patience of a Saint"

So, here I am everybody! Twiddling my thumbs, humming brightly off key, waiting ever so patiently for my life to change. Ok, alright, not so very patiently if you must know the truth...

I was waiting patiently until about the beginning of June when we found out that another Norwegian family who had had their papers in Sri Lanka for almost the exact same time as us, had gotten their big call, their referral! That news was the most thrilling and happy news, well aside from actually receiving the call ourselves of course.

It made the possibility of us getting our very own referral suddenly somehow real and since then, although I have gone about my days as normally as I usually go about my days, I have had a whole rabble of butterflies, a swarm if you will, in my belly every morning, and each time my phone has buzzed for any reason at all, I reach for it with fumbling, shaking hands, usually dropping it in my eagerness or madly pressing all buttons at once so that it just gives up and puts itself out of its misery by switching itself off.

All things considered, I believe my husband and I are waiting patiently enough.

We are the next couple in "line" now to receive our tildeling or referral call, but realistically we may not be chosen next for any number of reasons. As desperately as I want to be chosen next, it's important to be aware of the reality of the situation as well.

Even if we are, for whatever reason, not the next couple to receive our call, we will still be extremely excited for whoever it is that does. Naturally slightly disappointed but happy as well because we believe there is a certain child or sibling group (if that's what we are blessed with), especially chosen for us. I don't believe it's a random thing, a roll of the dice and ok, if it's a 5, you get this child, if it's a 2, you get this one instead.

No, it's a planned thing. It is the conclusion of a long, long sequence of events, the initial decision to adopt; the interviews, the putting yourself on display for others to judge what sometimes has felt like every small, intimate detail of your lives; the endless paper collecting, doctor's visits, police checks, etc.; the waiting; the heartache and joy of it; the approval; then more waiting. The referral call is an end to this messy, fascinating business. (Until the next time we adopt at least.;)

And it's a beginning. The beginning of a new sort of life, one we have been longing for!

So ring, phone, ring...and if not for us this time, then certainly do it for someone else! :)

18 comments:

SB said...

And I am waiting almost as impatiently for you and Prøvepia to get your calls. Not just because that means we go from number 6 to number 4 on the list, but also because I can't wait to hear all about your little wonder, your trip to Sri Lanka, the daily life as a new family and all the other things that follows. I'm getting butterflies just thinking that you and your hubby might get the Big Call any day now - at least if the referal-every-other-month thing keeps up. I really hope you won't have to wait much longer - and how wonderfull wouldn't it be if you guys had moved up to the joyus place of "1 familie reiser den XX. agusut til Sri Lanka" when the Sri Lanka pages are updated next week! Here's hoping!

Zion said...

I hope that call will come, you know it will come at the exactly right moment, when you've been waiting just long enough :) - I'm so excited for you and Per, I can't wait to hear all about this little person joining your family :) *ring phone ring*

Heidi Lanett Mixon said...

Hi Colleen,
It's Heidi. Thanks for the post on my blog. I did some snooping and found it is our Icelandic friend we both have in common! Funny IT seems. I grew up in Norway the first part of my life and I too have adopted! So from an adoptive parent to a soon to be one...you are right on! It isn't a roll of a dice. God has chosen a very special child(ren) for you and your husband! You probably wouldn't want the one that was in line before yours anyway! lol I hope your journey is filled with wonderful memories. I know you said you like to write. here is an idea I have done. I started a scrapbook journal. All year long I write down the funny things the girls say, I make note of the events we do (zoo, circus) how they reacted to etc. Basically I record the year in bullet points and then during their birthday month I write a letter to them using the bullet points to jog my memory of good times, hard times and funny moments. I write it in a a special book. Then I also take a picture of them and a picture of me and them (this way I can see how well I am managing my weight over the year...haha)I plan on giving the books to them when they are older 18, or get married of have kids of their own. I have an 8 year old stepdaughter, and 6 year old bio daughter and a 5 year adoptive daughter. Each book contains struggles, love and even heartache but I hope the girls will know I have always loved them, as much as flawed human can! ...Colleen email me sometime! heidimixon@gmail.com or check me out on facebook! I would love to hear how your journey goes.

Colleen said...

Sesselja, thank you for being as impatient and excited as we are!!:) I understand what you mean, I am just hungry for the little details about all things related to Sri Lanka and adoption and other people's experiences with both...I wish there were more Sri Lanka blogs, I would haunt them daily for information!!:) When we do finally go, I am going to write as much down as I can and try to update this blog as often as possible! Does your friend Prøvepia have a blog? My fingers are crossed for her as well!! For all of us really.:) I am actually really interested to see how long this "referal every other month thing" as you so perfectly call it, lasts!

Sæunn, I totally agree with you...it will come at the exact moment it's meant to and when it does come we will be so thankful and not able to picture it coming either any earlier or later...it's almost like fatalism but really just more like faith I suppose, it will happen when it is meant to happen, there will be no rushing or delaying it and it will be right!!:) I'm going to join you in your chant "Ring phone ring!!!" Hehe!!

Hi Heidi! Thank you for your encouraging comment, I really appreciate hearing what you had to say. When I read that you have lived in Norway and you have also adopted, I almost felt though like it's more than just a coincidence! What a small, small world!:) Whereabouts in Norway did you grow up? Where is your daughter adopted from? I love your idea of a scrapbook journal...sounds like it will be a wonderful and cherished gift for each of your daughters when they are grown. What precious memories. Again, thank you for posting and I will look you up on email or facebook. I would love to hear more about your experiences.

Zion said...

And I met both of you ladies within a month! - Heidi stayed in the hotel I was living in in Reykjavík :) - she came there with a mission group and I'm positively sure I told you about her :) Janet and Shirley also met her - so you two know three people in common ;) LOL

I for some reason recall a stroll on laugarvegur with a bunch of Christians and Colleen and I bailing to the Dubliners (the night of Josafat the crossdresser) and for some reason I'm thinking that bunch of Christians may have been the group Heidi was with - though I am totally not sure...

SB said...

No, Prøvepia doesn't blog. As far as I know, it's only you and I who blog about Sri Lanka adoption.

I notice there's a lopt of references to Reykjavik in your comment field. Did you use to live there? I just got back from Reykjavik a few days ago, having visited my dad and his family there for a week.

Colleen said...

Sæunn, if you're correct, that is a huge coincidence and makes the stament "it's a small world" all the more true! How funny is that that Heidi and I actually might have met, however briefly! I think I remember well the night you speak of and I certainly haven't forgotten Josafat the crossdresser!:)

Sesselja, that is so interesting! Why does your dad live in Rekjavik? I hope you had a really good time there!! My great grandparents came to Canada from Iceland so I actually have quite a lot of family still there to this day!:) My husband and I met there when we were 18 so there's yet another reason it holds a special place in my heart and yes, I did attempt to briefly live there for a couple of months when I was 21 but I had no real work permits or permission to stay so eventually I had to leave.:) I worked in the Celtic Cross and The Dubliner while I was there though and a place called La Baguette that has since closed down!! Wonderful country, wonderful heritage, wonderful friends and city and wonderful memories!!:) I would be so interested in hearing why your dad is there!! Please tell!!:) Are you also Icelandic?

Mary-Anne said...

im praying everyday for your phone call. all the waiting will be well worth it. and its so exciting to think months from now you and Per-o will be parents! its so exciting! keep waiting and being patient and it will come to you! you wont be waiting forever, it will come and it will be so exciting when it does. i cant wait for you! i love you so much.

Zion said...

Out of curiosity can you e-mail me the names and birthdates of your grandparents that moved away from Iceland, so I can run them through the heritage database and see if we're related ;)

Zion said...

Although I'm thinking that might have been just a regular group of Icelandic Christians so I'm very uncertain... I have so many nights from that time jumbled up in my memory LOL - when did you get deported? I think the Power Surge team came to Iceland in late January or something... maybe they came after you'd already left... well either way I met you two within a month of each other - so that's a coincidence enough for me ;) LOL

Colleen said...

Thank you so much Mary-Anne! Honestly your thoughts and prayers mean the world to us! We are so excited and so ready for that big change and just think, when you and Jojo-jinga get here, you may just be babysitters!;) And funny crazy aunties certainly!!:) I love you too and can't wait for you to come here and bring all that happiness and fresh air with you!! Mwah sista!


Sæunn, my friend,I will definately do that! I was always laughing in Iceland because seriosuly both times, random people would ask me what my Icelandic family name was and then tell me we were related!!:) My family was one of the ones that took a last name back in 1860 I think, so everyone with that particular last name is family, plus some...plus many, in fact!!:) Anyway I'll PM you tomorrow with that info! I find it all so fascinating...my grandpa (100% Icelandic) used to tell my mom "If you're even a little bit Icelandic, you're totally Icelandic." Haha, Icelanders are so proud of their heritage!!:)

Judi said...

oh Colleen, first and foremost, Thank you, for allowing me to take a peak inside your heart. I feel truly blessed to have read every little word. Your day is coming, i truly believe that. I enjoyed your blog so very much. But I'm thinking....hmmm Kelly will, if nothing else, make a very INTERESTING uncle! God Bless and God Speed! Again, thank you, your writing is amazing and enjoyable to read!

SB said...

My dad is Icelandic and has pretty much always lived there - apart from a few years when he studied in Canada! My mum is half Icelandic by blood, but grew up in Norway. The two of them met one summer when she was over there working, they had a summer thing, and voila! here I am. They both married other people and started families in their respective countries soon afterwards. So I'm 3/4 Icelandic by blood, but don't speak the language and have a Norwegian passport.

Colleen said...

Wow, how interesting Sesselja! That's so special!

Prøvepia (Ine) said...

Actually, now I DO have a blog. ;)

I've been secretly following your blog, Colleen, and I wasn't really planning on starting my own blog until we get the referral. But when I read you question to Sesselja I thought, what the hell. Sooo, me and my husband started our blog a bit earlier than planned, and are now filling it with thoughts and preparations.

We've chosen to have a closed blog so we won't be reluctant to putting pictures of our baby there when the time comes. I got your e-mailadress from Sesselja and sent you an invitation, so you are free to read and comment if you would like to. :)

Colleen said...

Oh, so nice to hear from you!! I am so happy you started a blog because I am so looking forward to following your journey as well!!:) I really appreciate the invitation. I've already checked in and what an interesting blog! I tried to comment but I don't think it worked...I'll have to try again later maybe?:) Anyway so happy to "meet" you Ine! Lykke til med adopsionsprosessen!:)

Ine said...

The same to you! I can't wait to hear that you have gotten your referral, and I have a strong feeling on august.. ;) It's so exciting to finally get to know what babies we are waiting for. And actually, our babies will probably be very close in age in addition to the geographic similarities.

I think I fixed the problem with commenting on the blog - at least I changed some settings. ;) Hopefully it workes now.

Ine said...

Colleen, last night I dreamt that my phone rang, and I thought "what if... no, it's probably not", which I often think nowadays whenever my phone rings. But when I looked down, it said "Adopsjonsforum" in the display. Then I woke up.

I've been waiting all day for you to announce that you have gotten the big call, because I'm convinced that this means that your referral is on the way!

Well, maybe you're just waiting for it to be official before you give us the big news. If not, I hope I'm just a couple days early with my premonition. ;)