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Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Like Water Off A Duck's Back...

I generally try to live my life in such a way that I am not overly occupied with what others may think about me and the decisions that I make. "Try" being the key word of course.

Usually it's enough for me that I know who I am. I know what I am doing (most of the time, that is.;) and I know what I believe.

I guess what I feel today, as I write this, is a need to clarify, to express how my husband and I feel about our adoption. This need may stem from several comments that I have gotten in the past, (which I have since removed because I don't want to dwell on things like that.:), concerning adoption and how some people seem to view adopted children.

I just want to clarify that my husband and I are joyfully awaiting our child...though he or she will be a child of the heart and not the body.

This is not a second rate child we will be taking into our hearts, lives, and home and this is not a last resort decision. We are not ashamed to be doing this, we are honored and privileged to be trusted with this precious small life and thrilled at all the possibility that we never expected to be offered. We are blessed. This is what we are choosing to do. And honestly? We're pretty excited about it all.

To continue on that positive note, there have also been so many people who have shown love and support and interest in this and in us. My mom who has given me small gifts for small children already with a smile and hopeful words, my sister in law, who put her love and time into creating an adoption scrapbook for my husband and I and many, many more people who have shown their excitement and joy for us and prayed for us and have shared in our happiness so far! Thank you, it all means more than we are able to express.


Sesselja said...

I'm speechless. She actually said that? It always surprises me when I hear about people perceiving adoption as something negative or something to be sad about, because I view it as such an amazing and positive thing to be privileged to experience.

And I'm really excited about you guys being so close to meeting your child! S/he is almost definitely born now, and maybe even matched to you guys. If not, it's probably not far off. I hope it won't be long before you get the Big Call!

Colleen said...

Sesselja, wow, when you put it like that, it makes it seem so real and so soon, which it actually is I suppose!! I just got chills down my spine!:) We are SO thrilled for the last family that got their call and SO excited about our own call...whenever it will will come!:) Thank you for what you wrote...I too am always amazed at the things people actually say, though I'm sure it's more a cause of not thinking than trying to be hurtful! But I feel the same as you, surprised when they see adoption as something negative...unfortunately I never can think of anything educational to say at the thank goodness for blogs.;)
You know that we wish you and your husband all the best too!!

Olga Marie og Jan Henrik said...

Jeg er litt, nei ikke litt, VELDIG sjokkert....hvordan kan noen IKKE være excited og kjempespent og kjempeglad og nysgjerrig på dette???
Dere skal jo bli perfekte foreldre for de(t) perfekte barn(a)!!

Springer og sjekker mail og melding (telefon) og facebook hver morgen jeg, i tilfelle det har kommet gode nyheter fra dere =D =D =D

Colleen said...

Takk for det Olag Marie!! Det betyr mye til å høre det!:) Vi og står opp hver dag og tenker "Will today be the day?!":) We can't wait to share the happy news with family and friends and are so thankful for those around us who are almost as eager as we are!!:)

Zion said...

Well I'm super excited for you and I can't wait to see pictures (since I have no hopes of meeting the little guy/girl any time soon :( ) and you know that you guys are in my prayers, hopefully your wait will be short and things will be ready when you get the call ;) so you don't have to stress too much :D

And I'm so outraged that the woman actually said that....

katie said...

Exciting days ahead, Colleen!

jjdelta said...

I cannot believe somebody would say that to you!!! Colleen I am so sorry!

To me adoption is something so beautiful and precious. You are giving to this child the biggest gift any human being can give to another - love.
You are not only giving this small child, who has lost his/her parents, the love of a parent, but, most importantly, you are giving it the embrace of a Christian family! How can anybody view adoption as something negative?

I really hope that some day the Lord will allow me to adopt! There are so many miserable children out there longing to belong, longing to be loved, longing to be held... who can deny a child the basic need of being loved? God made us relational beings desiring to love and be loved and children feel that need even more so than adults do. Colleen, what you and Per are doing is a beautiful thing.. don't let anybody tell you any different!

By the way, the Bible says that we are God's adopted children - hence adoption is a biblical principle ;)

jjdelta said...

By the way... don't you dare go to Iceland when I'm not there!!!! ;p

Love you!

Meg said...

Oh Colleen, that really is terrible! SO many people ask us why we have chosen to be foster parents instead of "giving birth" to a child. No matter how a child comes to you it is still your child and God has placed that child in your family. We do this because God has asked us to and we do it gladly. Sure there is A LOT of heartache and waiting on God BUT let's not forget what an amazing God we serve and I'm SO ahppy to do so!

Psalm 68:5,6 Father to the fatherless, defender of widows – this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families...

Remember this, God has placed this child in your family and God is a pretty good guy.

Colleen said...

Thanks so much for the comments Mom, Janet and Meg!
Mom, you're so right, the days ahead are exciting!! I don't think ANYTHING is more on our minds and hearts these days than "the call" and all that will entail. I don't know how it will feel when it does happen but it's a pretty safe bet that it will be the most exciting news we've ever recieved at least!!:)

Janet, I so appreciate your words of support and understanding. I think that God has opened so many doors in this process and worked so much in our hearts throughout the last 16 months (when we began this whole thing). His grace has been so obvious, but only AFTER my heart was more open to seeing it and that took a lot of work I'm afraid. I feel too like this is a spectacular honor and an amazing blessing and one thing that I have come to understand clearly is that there is nothing, not one single thing, that belongs wholly to us anyway. Not a biological child, not an adopted child. A child belongs to us no more than we fully belong to our own parents. We are all just here on loan from God anyway. :)

And Meg, I think that your decision to be foster parents is a couragous one. I think that some people don't realize it is a choice and perhaps that's why they can't understand why you would do that rather than have your own, that they feel you must have chosen it out of desperation or as a last resort. It is simply a total lack of understanding. For us too, this is a choice. Certainly, certain factors have led us to choose adoption, but no one is forcing us or holding a gun to our heads. There are alternatives, but we've examined those alternatives and felt that they were not right for us.
Thanks again for your support in this!! You have mine too!:)

Katie said...

Sometimes I think people really just don't understand. They speak without thinking, they write without any concept of what their words will look like on paper. They open their mouths and astound us all. I like to think of it this way: The light is on, but nobody is home! Thats why your blog is soooo important and so needed! It gives us insight to an amazing and wonderful thing that most of us are never allowed to do......... take a little one from another land, nourish him or her, love him or her and protect from all harm...... katie